Dear God,

When my beloved baby girl
who is now only 6 inches long and weighs but 10 ounces
one day goes off to college . . .

I won’t fret if she get 14 tattoos,
or pierces most every inch of the flesh I have tried to carefully tend,
or moves from Zen Buddhism to Agnosticism to Atheism

because I know you will watch out for her.

But God, if you could do me a favor
and help me raise my baby girl
to be able to communicate with her college roommate
and to never be mean to a hall director,

I will consider myself
to have done thy will
in child-rearing.

Actually, if you could start working on that
roommate communication skill
en utero
I would really appreciate it.

Thanks God.

Amen.