We are wrapping up week 18 here at Camp TheologyMama-to-be. I decided that I will keep my thoughts on this whole motherhood thing at a new blog, lest my 10 devoted readers at TheologyGirl would rather not read about it.

I can’t say that I have much insight into all things mother and baby related. Everyone keeps asking “How’s the baby?” to which I reply, “Uh, it has a heartbeat? As of last week? And about a month ago it had a spine? So, it’s alive! And not an aquatic invertebrate! We’re psyched about that.”

To which Peter chimes in, “Actually, I think aquatic invertebrates are pretty cool.”

Okay, well. Clearly you can’t please all of the people all of the time.

So, after I can say nothing of interest about the kid, people ask, “Are you totally excited? Isn’t it amazing being pregnant?” To which I sort of make up some reply like, “Oh, yeah, ha ha ha ha, it’s super, ha ha actually, it’s kind of exactly like not being pregnant was.”

This isn’t entirely true. When I wasn’t pregnant and I woke up with a hacking cough and 102 degree fever, I could take me some Nyquil and suffer in dignity. Oh, sweet, sweet nectar that is Nyquil. But now I go to the doctor to be told, nope, sorry, you take that Nyquil you really better mean that thing about wanting a squid baby because that is what will happen. Oh, and let’s give you an IV of fluids for fun.”

Pregnancy is indignity, people.

This is not to say that I’m not thrilled. I am. I know enough people who have had trouble getting pregnant or staying pregnant to know that I am very, very blessed. But still. This does not change the fact that I have no idea what is going on and feel the same as before. Only slightly less excited about eating.

“You’re so lucky” the people who already have children say. “Just wait! Enjoy sleep now because you certainly won’t be doing it later.” I suppose they believe that my rib-wrenching cough affords such a luxury. But no matter. I get what they’re saying.

So begins my ramblings at TheologyMama. I also intend to spread Natural Family Planning propaganda here. Because Parents magazine insists on saying the Catholic church believes only in “The Rhythm Method” which is utter bunk. The rhythm method. Geh. Interestingly, this could mean there might be actual “theology” on this site. Which would be interesting and a fascinating departure from girl, wherein I do everything in my power to avoid it.